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Meth And Mother Of Two Boys

Katie was an athletic teenager; but when an injury ended her diving career, alcohol, weed and crystal amphetamine filled her idle time.

I will be talking with Katie. Katie is 38 years old. She has done meth and alcohol and she will be talking with us about that. She came from a good home. She is married with two children. Katie, welcome.

Thank you.

I’m going to start by asking you a simple question. How did your addiction start?

My addiction started when I was on a diving team. When I was very young, I started springboard and platform diving. I was extremely good at it. I won the national championship a couple times. I was on the USA diving team and I injured my back. I was no longer able to dive. When that was taken from me, I had a lot of free time on my hands. I didn’t have the camaraderie of my teammates and I went and made new friends. I started smoking pot and drinking beer. I told the pain of losing my passion of diving and I filled it with other things. I was partying. I kept it on a social weekend of a level, but it changed my life on that. I started going down the road of substance abuse. I kept growing up.

By the time I was 21, I was in a bad car accident. The car rolled three or four times. My hands went out the window. I crushed my hands and broke my fingers. That again led to me smoking weed even more and lead to hard alcohol. I did a lot of self-medicating with booze. I’m smoking weed all day long, all the time. Before that car accident, I did get my certified nursing assistant. Afterwards, I was unable to do patient care anymore. I was on disability for quite a while. I took painkillers. I smoked weed and I had way too much time on my hands.

My parents were always very supportive. They try not to see it, but they always love me. I always knew I had their support. As time went on, when I was about 25, I met my husband and we got married. When we were newly engaged, we both got sober together. We were sober for the first year and a half of our marriage or maybe a bit longer than that. We had our first son. My life was going well. We bought a house. I started socially drinking again. It was not a good idea, but I did it. We had another son. I have two boys. I was drinking and smoking weed. I’m not keeping my priorities straight at all. I started drinking in the afternoon instead of in the evening. That progressed to, “I’m hung over. I’m going to have a cocktail for breakfast.” It was a vicious cycle. I’d wake up and I didn’t feel good, so I drink and then I drink some more. It would happen all over again. I started hiding alcohol because my husband didn’t appreciate me being drunk all the time. I would hide stash bottles all over the house. I would sneak drinking. Not letting him know or thinking I wasn’t letting him know. I was out of control. I was absolutely out of control. I didn’t think I was. I would start blacking out. I would yell and scream at him. The next day, he would tell me, “You were yelling and screaming at me in the kitchen and the kids were in their bedrooms. They didn’t want to come out.”

It was ugly. I had a huge blacked out drunken moment where I got physical with him and I was pushing him. I scratched him on his neck, a big scratch and I don’t remember doing it. The next day, it was terrible. He ended up leaving to his mom’s house that night with the kids. That next morning he said, “The kids are going to stay at my mom’s for a couple of days and I am too.” I promised him I would stop drinking and that I was sorry. He forgave me. I did stop drinking. Two weeks after that night, I was bitten by a spider. The spider was carrying flesh-eating bacteria. It bit me on my arm and it ate my arm and my hand from the inside out. It nearly killed me. I went to the hospital. They put me in a medically induced coma. They didn’t know if I was going to wake up. I was sick to the point that my kidneys and my liver were both shutting down. I was unrecognizable. I was completely jaundiced and bloated. If you didn’t know it was me, you wouldn’t have known. I woke up eight days later in the hospital and my husband was by my side. I was in intensive care unit of the hospital. I had to learn how to do everything again. I had to learn how to walk. I had to learn how to button my pants. I had to learn how to feed myself. I had to learn how to do everything over again. I was in the hospital for over a month.

Through that, I can walk again. I can write. My hand will never be the same. It took a while. I thought for a very long time that I was disabled, that I was unable to work. I was unable to do things because of this horrible thing that happened to my arm and my hand. I thought I was uncapable to do a lot of things. My self-worth went way down. My mom got sick. My mom was one of my best friends. We’re very close. We talked all the time. She taught me about the love of the Lord, of God. She progressively got more and more sick. I started doing meth because I didn’t want to see my mom deteriorate. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was doing meth every day. From the outside world, everything looked peachy, white picket fence, kids at school. I volunteered at school, but I’d get home and I’d be in my room. I’d be smoking dope all the time. That was brutal.

We ended up losing our house. My kids went and were living with my mother-in-law. My husband and I, we lived in our car for about a year and a half. Our addiction progressed over about a three-year period. By the time we lost our house and we’re living in our car, something had hit the fan. My kids didn’t understand. They didn’t know why they had to go to granny’s all of a sudden. Without a job, feeling like I’m disabled and living in my car, I started stealing from stores to make ends meet. I would steal from stores and then go sell this stuff. It was terrible. It was a vicious cycle. It’s something that’s so not me that I would never do in a right state of mind ever. That went on for about a year. I got caught and I went to jail. When I got out of jail, I’m still homeless. I was living on the streets. This time it was worse because I didn’t have a car. I was literally living on the streets.

I was given the opportunity to go to a place called Turning Point in Salinas. It’s sober living environment and I moved in there. I stayed there for about a month and a half until I was almost completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was sober at that point, but it was a huge struggle. I was in an environment that felt hostile. I didn’t like myself still. I knew that I had to do something else. I knew I needed more than being where I was. I knew that I needed rehab. I made a phone call. I talked to an old friend who happened to be a counselor and a staff person at Teen Challenge Monterey Bay. Three days after I talked to her, she came and picked me up. I got into program and through recovery through Teen Challenge, I was able to admit that I was powerless. God was the only answer.

I started rebuilding my life. I was in program for eight and a half months. I had been sober for a little over fourteen months. One of the best things about recovery and being sober is that I don’t have to make up excuses for anything anymore. I can be honest, I am honest. There’s no need for excuses of being late or excuses for losing things or excuses for not showing up. I have healing with my family. My husband has also gone through recovery as well and he has a month more sober time that I do have to throw that out there. Our kids are strong and healthy. They forgave me. They love their mom. It’s beautiful. I’m in an SLE now. I love it. I love the people I’m surrounded by. I love the support. I love the accountability. I have an amazing job that I love that I get to give back every day. All this is possible through the rooms of AA, NA and by the power of God completely.

Katie, that’s wonderful. Thank you so much. I have another question for you though. What do you believe are the keys to recovery from addiction?

Admitting that you’re powerless and asking for help. Knowing you’re not alone, knowing that other people do care and reaching out and asking for it.

What is your opinion on the Twelve-Step Program?

It’s awesome. It changed the way I look at life all the way around. It didn’t just help me get sober, it has changed the way I look at the world.

What do you think works in recovery, Katie?

It’s a family. We’re a family. You can walk into a meeting anywhere in the world. You all have that commonality that you all understand each other. Someone else has been there. You’re not alone.

What does your future look like to you?

My future is bright. I have confidence. One of the main things that I’ve gotten through recovery is the fact that I know that I am able, with all my tragedies with my hands, I know that I can work. I can do great things. I don’t feel like I’m incapable. I know that I am very capable of a lot.

Thank you so much. Katie is a client at the Gault House Sober Living Environment here in Santa Cruz, California. I want to thank you for joining us. To our readers, we wish you to stay sober and be happy. Thank you.

Thank you. “Always be humble and gentle, be patient with each other, allowing for one another’s faults.” Ephesians 4:2.

Thank you, Katie.

About Katie

Katie is 38 years old, female from Santa Cruz, California. Katie is a Certified Medical Assistant, married and has two lovely boys.

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